I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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