Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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