I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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