I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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