How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
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We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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