If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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