I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
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Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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