you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
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My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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