I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize