i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
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Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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