Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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