It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize