once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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