I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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