There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize