It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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