I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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