i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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