Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize