Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize