Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize