Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize