Will you blow on my dice?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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