I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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