I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
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My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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