Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize