i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize