I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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