dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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