so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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