what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
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Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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