Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
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Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
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Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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