I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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