I want to walk on stilts...naked
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
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He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize