Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
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had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
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VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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