i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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