I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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