Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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