he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize