why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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