Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize