Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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