I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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