The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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