I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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