No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize