she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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