If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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