you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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