I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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